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    Joke of the Day  
       
    Joke of the Moment  
      drunk in a bar pukes all over his own shirt, which was brand new before he came in. Damn, he says. I puked on my shirt again. If the wife finds out, shes gonna kill me.

    Not to worry, says the bartender as he sticks a $20 bill in the drunks pocket. Just tell her someone puked on you and gave you some cash to cover the cleaning bill.

    So the drunk goes home and tells his wife about the guy who puked on him. She reaches into his pocket and finds two twenties. Why are there two twenties she asks.

    The drunk replies, Oh, yeah, he crapped in my pants, too.